on jumping off bridges with children

Words are powerful. How we choose to communicate with our children will form the framework through which they build their perceptions. We certainly don't control it all, but we are the primary lens through which they are peering out at the world.

Take this bridge for example.

"Let's go swimming in the river, guys, someone told me about a cool spot." I said.

That's all I said because it's all I knew. We didn't discuss the possibility of jumping off extraordinarily high bridges.

We arrived, and this beautiful river was crystal clear and bright blue green and all that you'd ever want of a river or of anything, really. We swam and floated and cheered our good fortune. We dove deep and followed the contour of the bottom looking for fish and sunken treasure.

We watched two teenagers jumping off and whooped it up when they did their stunts.

Matt went first.

And then three little kids, that I live with but don't claim to always control, were scampering up the banks, and through the brush, to the road and onto a very high bridge with only one thought before them.

Jumping.

We deferred the coaching to the two teenage boys.

And we yelled like hell when they flung themselves overboard.

Della was right there with them and wanted to fly, but we agreed on next year.

They never thought that this jumping business was optional. It was something to be done.

Had I said "there's a great bridge for jumping" they might have stewed on it and possibly fretted. I would have 'reassured' which would have given weight to their anxiety. Sometimes, in our well meant 'reassuring' we are presupposing instability or fear. That is what the child hears.

The other day I was at the grocery store with a neighbor's little boy. He was nervous and clingy. He could have ridden on the cart and stuck tight by me, but instead I gave him a mission.

"You and Lewis go find a cold, orange Gatoraide!"

He came back on fire. He was all powerful with his cold drink! He had mastered a mysterious grocery store and found himself on top.

So be careful with reassurances and gentle reminders and cautions.

Those young'uns are sprouting little wings.

It's our job to keep them full and fluffy.