Does hiking equal torture? That's the question. There is no straight answer. I took my kids and my surrogate kids hiking last Sunday. You would have thought that I was delivering them to a brutal execution. That I had suggested a ritualistic fingernail plucking and skin peeling. Oh, the complaining. How long? How far? I HATE hiking, Mom. I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm too tired. Blah blah blah blah blah. They were fueled on bagels, we had some water, it was ten in the morning...too early to be fatigued. The weather was typical Colorado (sunny, cloudy, rainy, sunny, sleeting, beautiful). We were only about 90 seconds from our house, so it's not like we had a long and heinous drive ahead of us.
I wanted to strangle them. Not literally, but you know.
They were wearing me down. We got to the trail head.
'How faaaaaarrrrrrrrr?' someone whined.
I looked at all six of them.
"You are all total idiots. Get out of the car."
Yes, I called my children AND someone else's idiots.
Because they are. Total.
Newsflash: Not every word that comes out of a kid's mouth is valid. Not even close. And if you want to discuss this, then come on over and I will give you three hundred thousand examples of why I'm right. (Their words don't always hold deeper meaning either...kids are fairly shallow idiots, as far as I'm concerned.) I say this with great love, affection and a deep devotion.
Within about twelve seconds they were FROLICKING up the trail. Freaking PRANCING. Happy as clams at high-water, they were. That's when you really want to clang their little heads together!
They went so far as to THANK ME for bringing them.
Do they still make Calgon?
There are some things my kids say that I don't even respond to anymore. One is "I don't want to go hiking."
ReplyDeleteAnother is (Rose), "When is breakfast going to be ready?" (while I'm at the stove at 7:00am cooking breakfast).
I took the kids hiking on Monday. Told Rose I'd carry her the whole way, she was so bereft about it. She ended up running up and down the mountain gleefully like the pony girl she is.
it's mind numbing, isn't it!? your kids never whine with me, BTW. :)
DeleteI would have so enjoyed going hiking with you, even going as far as yelling Shotgun and racing you to the car! So, so pretty where you live.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, I did my first Crossfit Mama work out today. Yeap, I think I almost threw up and here I thought I was in pretty good shape!
you must get yourself here!!! we could just hike all day and eat wonderful food and you could teach me how to knit!
DeleteHee. I think kids need to be told what's up in simpler terms some of the time. Kids need to know they can do something even when they don't WANT to all the time, it's a good preparation for adulthood....and chances are...they'll have fun doing it.
ReplyDeleteBut more than that...in my view, kids need an opportunity to see how blessed they are. And sometimes, to see the blessing, you have to get your dang feet on the trail and start walking.
amen sister!
DeleteI would love to go hiking with you, anytime :) My little man has started protesting here and there about heading out to the trails. We still go and guess what, he ends up having a great time and evens gives me that little smile when I remind him he didn't want to come.
ReplyDeleteAaaargh! I picture having to chain mine together chain gang style eventually...it seems to get worse the older they get! :) your little boy is just darling, BTW!
DeleteYes! Irreverence and flippancy win the day! Can you come to my house for coffee? I'd come to you, but there are all those borders and several thousand miles in the way. :)
ReplyDeleteyes, i'll come to you! or let's meet in hawaii...i'm not quite ready for winter!
ReplyDeleteOh how I adore thee!
ReplyDeleteyesterday i was a buzzkill and today you love me. what am i going to do with you. oh yeah, we're married, i'll have to keep you! xoxoxoxo
DeleteHa! This had me cracking up. We had a great grandma that lovingly referred to children as little idiots. That hike looks amazing. I'm so thankful that growing up in AZ my parents took the time to take us hiking. While I'm certain we complained more than we thanked them I'm always finding myself telling stories about those days. You live on top of the world my dear and I love that you are showing it all to them!
ReplyDeleteWalnut Creek Park. Albemarle county, Va. Nectar quiet, perfect roam and run for little feet. Anyway, we start out on a causal walk and 4.5 year old Aurora's legs break down with can't.... but she does, every time.
ReplyDeleteThis version of playdate is my favorite. My legs get to move over more than just a playground's worth, and A-girl gets to run her miles- just as many!
xo Blossom
PS: that savage colorado beauty gets me- so many rocks exposed! but you know how beautiful it is here- quartz and moss and all the trees.
hello dear! love it! i do miss that spongy green-ness. and the humidity...would kill for a little humidity! hugs to your little ones and your man! i look at y'all on fb often and think that all looks well at your house!!! have a lovely!
Delete*sigh* well hello there fellow torturer :). I could have written this right alongside you. But in the end, they always say "that was awesome". and we remind them that they say that every time. But short term memory prevails. Kind of like eating meatloaf. "Oh you don't remember liking it? Well you DID!"
ReplyDeleteYour pics are amazing, love love love Colorado....
xo
My daughter hates hiking and is a pain in the tuchus about it. To combat it, I call them walks. We happily go walking together. Just don't say the "h" word. Glad it turned around for you.
ReplyDelete